That's what she said...

In interesting thread about speech tags over on Kindleboards caught my attention, and I thought I'd throw in my $.02.

First, head over to Kindleboards and check out the thread over there.  I'll wait.

[Mike presses Pause on his Massive Blog Controlboard.]
Back?  Great.
[Mike tries to press Play, hits Rewind by mistake]  Ack!  No!  Ah, crap...
[Mike scrambles to correct his mistake.  His blogdroids learn some new and interesting words.]
Okay, there.  Now...

Anyway, to recap: Speech tags or speech attributions are words like 'said', 'asked', 'replied' that you add to dialogue to let the reader know who spoke.

"You know," Mike said, "your shorts are on fire."
"Ahh!" Jim yelled.  "Put it out!"

More recap: use as few speech tags as you can without risking that the reader will become confused as to who's talking.  Julie Ann Dawson gives a great example of the overuse of speech tags, and why they should be minimized.

Still more recap: Avoid using anything but plain old 'said'.  Reason:  It's a simple, unobtrusive word.  As readers, we're so used to seeing it that we don't see it.  It gets out of the way, it doesn't break the flow of the dialogue.

Self-Editing for Fiction Writers (a must have book for... well, the title says it all) has an excellent chapter on writing dialogue that goes into the proper use of speech tags (only the authors call them 'speaker attributions'--say that three times fast).  Yet again more recap: Seriously, only use 'said'.  Forget about 'asked'--that question mark in the dialog?  A really big clue-bat that a question is being asked.  'Replied'?  Nope, if its not clear from the dialogue itself that one character is speaking a reply to another one, you have a bigger problem than the need for 'replied'.

Do you have a long section of snappy back-and-forth dialog, and you're worried about all those speech tags piling up?

"I'm worried about all these speech tags piling up," Mike said.
"Why?" Jim said.
"I'm not sure. It's... distracting, somehow," Mike said.
"How long have you had this morbid fear of speech tags?" Jim said.
"Hmm... I guess it all started when I joined CritiqueCircle.com. Those people are rough," Mike said.

Minimize, remember?  Only use speech tags when it's necessary to make clear who's speaking.  Once you establish that back and forth pattern, cut them out.

"Rough, huh?" Jim said.
"Oh yeah.  Rabid grammar Nazis.  They'll rip you to shreds," Mike said.
"This is a joke, right?"
"I'm totally joking, okay?  Actually, they're the greatest."
"Your ass is grass, you know.  Better grovel some more."
"Totally.  Ladyv, Momzilla, I'm grovelling here.  Please don't beat me."

Of course, dialogue between two characters is easy.  Between three or more, you'll need to use more speech tags.  But even then, if it's clear who's talking, leave out the tag.

We got the beat...

 So, you're only using 'said', and you've cut down your speech tags to the minimum amount that's still clear.  And that long block of dialogue has become a reader-intimidating wall-of-text.

Use beats.

Beats (a term that comes from scriptwriting) are small bits of action mixed in with the dialogue.  They serve two purposes: they take the place of some of your speech tags, and the inject action into what would otherwise be as much fun as watching two Pat Paulson clones in a staged political debate.

"You think that saved your ass?" Jim said.
Mike shrugged.  "Maybe.  Better not show my face on that site for a while."
"Probably for the best."

Protip: Don't overuse beats, or your characters may end up nodding, shrugging, smiling, and frowning like a bunch of mimes on speed.

I'm so ashamed...

Having 'said' all that, I'll admit it: I break the rules.  After all, they're made to be broken, right?

Well, yeah, if you know you're breaking them, and you're sparing with your breakages.

“Get your hands off her,” I snarled.

I'll go hang my head in shame.

Turtles All The Way Down

Did I mention that I take long walks through the woods and fields near my home while I work out story ideas?  I'm pretty sure I did.

I met this little guy yesterday.  I admired him, he tolerated me.  We went our separate ways.

That was the walk where I realized that you can't write about faeries running through the forests of Faerie with hunting bows without giving them wolf companions.  When lead straight to an explanation of how the werewolf legends got their start.

The Howl

The genre of the story I'm currently writing, Changeling, is called 'Young Adult Urban Fantasy'.  It's the first story I've ever successfully sat down to write.  I've gotten it through the first, very rough draft, and I'm currently on the second draft, fixing things like continuity and plotting problems.  It's definitely been a learn-how-to-write-while-writing experience.  It's also been about as much fun as you can have out of bed--a total blast.

The story's complicated, so I won't go into much detail here.  Suffice it to say that the main antagonist of the story, the B.B.M (Big Bad Monster) that my two teen FMCs (Female Main Characters) must face, is... well, I'll let them tell you:

“Okay, Sis, listen to this.” I read from my laptop’s screen what my Googling had turned up.

“…there stood a foul thing, a great, black beast, shaped like a hound, yet larger than any hound that ever mortal eye has rested upon. And even as they looked the thing tore the throat out of Hugo Baskerville, on which, as it turned its blazing eyes and dripping jaws upon them, the three shrieked with fear and rode for dear life, still screaming, across the moor. One, it is said, died that very night of what he had seen, and the other twain were but broken men for the rest of their days.”

I turned around in my chair to look at Katie, lying on her belly at the end of my bed, with her chin resting on her hands. “Sound familiar? That’s from The Hound of the Baskervilles. Arthur Conan Doyle is supposed to have based the hound in the story on old legends about something called a ‘black dog’ or ‘barghest’.”

See what I mean about this story being a blast to write?  I mean, how cool is it be able to work in a reference to The Hound of the Baskervilles?

Like a lot of people, walking helps me think.  I live in a rural neighborhood in North-Central Florida, and the walking is great here.  Not only are there plenty of woods, fields, and low-traffic roads, but it's early spring here, and the weather is perfect for walking.  Later in the year, it'll become too hot and humid during the day, so I'll switch to walking mostly at night, but today, I took a long walk around a big, tree-lined hayfield.  The field is still mostly brown, but here and there are patches of green clover, with a few early spring flowers.  In a few weeks, before the brown grass turns green, fills the field and gets tall, it will be covered in a blaze of bright flowers.

So this morning I'm walking around that field along the treeline, deep in thought, working out a plotting problem in my story, when suddenly a long, mournful howl comes through the trees.

It's one of the neighbor's dogs, of course.  But my very first thought was Holy crap, it's the Hound of the Baskervilles!  Flee, flee!

First-Draft-Complete

Time to pop the cork on the bubbly. Last night I reached first-draft-complete on my work-in-progress, Changeling. Finally!

Since this is the first time I've mentioned Changeling here on this blog, here's the (admittedly rough) story blurb:

Siobhan Miller is a young girl of fifteen, a sophomore in a rural Tennessee high school, and a Faerie. For when she reached puberty, Siobhan went through a shocking physical transformation that revealed her to be one of the fae of old Irish folklore. It's difficult enough fitting in at a new school, meeting boys, making new friends, and dealing with the 'popular girls' clique, while hiding her differences behind the illusion power that is part of her fae heritage. But after these long centuries, the land of Faerie is growing closer once again, and its magic is returning to our world. And with that return, creatures and abilities long thought to be myths are awakening, and 'things' are beginning to come over from the otherside. Siobhan is forced to deal with the consequences, before they can expose her secret to the rest of the world.

 Now, it's not a readable first draft, by any measure. This is my first completed story, and it was definitely a learn-as-I-go experience. I owe a big debt to all the great people over at Critique Circle, who tore to shreds effectively critted the chapters I posted there. I learned a lot from the guys and gals there. Still learning, too.

Now for the bad news. Changeling is enormous. 135K words. It has plot dead-ends. The writing varies in quality from chapter to chapter. It needs lots of work.

None of which was unexpected. I'm not discouraged at all. I knew going in that I didn't know what I was doing, so I followed some sage advice, and gave myself permission to write badly... for the first draft. Otherwise, as in my past, it would have never gotten written.

So now I go over it with a weed whacker (might need a heavy-duty brush mower), trim out the wordiness many of you have ragged on me, I mean, given me thoughtful advice about. Straighten out the plot. Get rid of superfluous plot threads. Work on fleshing out some of the details. Apply more of the lessons from those annoying excellent crits.

I love the story world and the characters I've created. I feel confident that, with effort, patience, and the lessons I've learned/am learning, Changeling will grow up to be an enjoyable, readable story.

I Had No Idea She'd Do That

The first time a character took over and started writing her story herself, it blew me away.  Seriously, it was an 'Oh my God' moment.

Oh sure, I'd read what other writers had written about when it happened to them.  But you have to experience it for yourself to truly understand the amazement it brings.

But when it happens to you, it's a sign that you've reached the point where you deeply understand your character's personality and motivations.  The point where you don't have to try to figure out what your character would do next.  The character tells you.  And sometimes it takes the story in a direction you didn't expect.

Homecoming

I'm happy to report that my wife will be coming home from the hospital today.  Crisis averted.

Intermission

It wasn't my intent to start this blog, make a few posts, then disappear, and if that's what it looks like has happened, you have my sincere apologies.  My wife suffered a sudden medical crisis that required a 3AM visit by paramedics, followed by an ambulance ride to the hospital.

When I'm not at work, I'm at the hospital with her, so I've not had any time for much else, like writing.  She's holding her own, and the doctors hope she'll turn a corner today.  Once I can get her home and comfortable, I should be able to return to a more normal schedule.

Stay tuned.